Content Warning: This piece contains depictions of homophobia.
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For the first time, I realize that I can attend a church where both the leadership and congregation will embrace me as I am.
I’m a bisexual non-denominational Christian who is reminded daily that my family and faith community won’t accept the real me. The idea that God sees homosexuality as an abomination has been shoved down my throat all my life. I wasn’t even aware that 2SLGBTQ+ affirming churches existed until a few years ago. I didn’t know I could be accepted as bisexual at a church. There are almost 40 churches in my hometown Steinbach, Manitoba, and only one, Steinbach United Church, is affirming .
At home and at the churches I’ve attended, I don’t feel safe to be my open and honest self. I can’t discuss my political or religious opinions without being criticized, mocked, and shut down immediately, but I am finally starting to meet more Christians who will accept me as I am.
Growing up in a conservative Christian small town, I found that a lot of people openly voiced their homophobic opinions. In high school, I remember one of my friends asking our friend group if it was “more gross” to be gay or lesbian. I felt so uncomfortable and embarrassed, and when everyone gave their answers and laughed, a wave of realization swept over me: if I were to be open and proud of my identity, people would turn against me and tell me that who I am is wrong and disgusting.
The churches my parents attend preach against homosexuality. Just a few weeks ago, I attended a service with them, and the pastor started to preach on homosexuality. As soon as the pastor mentioned the 2SLGBTQ+ community, I knew what was about to happen, so I excused myself to the bathroom. I remember the sadness settling in as I waited for church to be over. I was frustrated as I thought of my parents nodding along.
The Christian community and the 2SLGBTQ+ community have been at odds for years. Many Christians have condemned the queer community and still do. Some Christians even advocate against laws condoning same-sex marriage.
But what about Christians who are a part of the 2SLGBTQ+ community? Where do they belong?
The answer is affirming churches and faith communities. 2SLGBTQ+ people of faith need faith communities that accept and celebrate who they are. Being a part of any religious group is a part of a person’s identity, and so is sexuality or gender-identity. While many 2SLGBTQ+ Christians are disrespected and invalidated in their religious communities, these two identities can and do co-exist.
Finding an affirming faith community is important for mental health. 2SLGBTQ+ are more likely to be suicidal than their heterosexual counterparts according to a study by the American Journal of Preventative Medicine, and suicidal thoughts are even more likely to occur in religious 2SLGBTQ+ people.
There are many affirming churches of different denominations right here in Winnipeg. Learn more about three affirming churches below or scroll to the end to see a longer list and a guide for how to spot an affirming church.
Fort Garry United Church
The United Church of Canada is a whole denomination that has agreed to accept and embrace 2SLGBTQ+ people as part of the church. Fort Garry is one of many United churches in Winnipeg.
Fort Garry United Church’s Statement:
“As people of the God of love, we welcome all ages, all income levels, varied physical and mental abilities, differing gender identities, sexual orientations, ethnicities, and family types. The people of Fort Garry United Church declare our commitment to continue to create a welcoming space where all people feel loved, respected, and invited into full participation in the life and work of the church.”
The United Church is a Protestant denomination that believes the Bible is central to Christianity, and that it was written by people who were inspired by God. They also believe that scripture was written in a different place and time, and that some teachings should not be applied to our world today; for example, slavery and condemnation of homosexuality.
To make queer people feel welcome, Fort Garry has put an affirming statement on their website. They make sure that people who drive by know that their church is affirming by having their benches painted rainbow colors. They have a mural on the side of their building that says “All are welcome.”
I spoke with Dianne Cooper, a board member (and former chair of the board) at Fort Garry United Church, who says the church puts a lot of effort into hospitality. Their building is used by community groups and the church has sponsored eight refugee families over the years.
Dianne says it took the church a while to officially declare themselves as affirming. At first, they didn’t see why they should bother making it official. Before their declarations, they already had 2SLGBTQ+ staff members, authorized their minister to marry people of the same-sex, and their congregation was already filled with affirming people.
After a few people came forward and discussed why they should declare their church as affirming, they agreed that it would be best to officially do it.
“We [the congregation] know that we’re accepting, but by talking about this publicly and being able to put that title on our congregation, it gives that message to other people,” says Dianne.
Moving forward from that, they took action to be more inclusive, like making the church and its bathrooms wheelchair accessible. The congregation wanted to make sure everyone would feel welcome at their church.
Many churches light what is called a Christ candle at the start of each service to remember the life of Christ. Fort Garry United lights a rainbow candle to show that everyone is welcome.
Fort Garry United has an outreach committee which is a big part of their church. The committee is made up of people who work hard to combat social and environmental issues. Their church has gone on peace marches, fought for a livable income, and pressured the government for 2SLGBTQ+ rights. “We often get accused of being quite politically active as a church,” says Dianne.
The sermons are grounded in God and the Bible, and focus on social issues, caring about each other, and helping people with whatever they are going through in day-to-day life. For example, during COVID-19 the minister has talked a lot about loneliness and isolation.
If you plan to attend Fort Garry United, reach out through the email or phone number on the church website.
Hope Mennonite Church
Hope Mennonite Church was one of the first Mennonite churches in Manitoba to declare themselves as affirming — this was about 10 years ago. This is another accepting church in Winnipeg that 2SLGBTQ+ people are encouraged to attend.
Hope Mennonite Church’s Statement:
“The people of Hope Mennonite Church are diverse in how we identify our own sexual orientations, sexes, and gender identities. We desire to follow Jesus’ example of acting with love, compassion, justice, and equality, recognizing the intrinsic worth of every human being as part of creation. We continue on this welcoming journey, recognizing that we will always have something new to learn.”
The Mennonite denomination as a whole doesn’t have a stance on homosexuality. While this congregation and others around the world are affirming, others are not. Some core beliefs of the Mennonite church are that the church is the body of Christ, you must repent of your sins and ask God for forgiveness, and the only authorities in the church are the Holy Spirit and the Bible.
I was able to talk to Selenna Wolfe, who volunteers as a part of the steering committee, which is another name for the church council. She came to this church a few years ago because of its affirming belief.
“I’ve been in other churches where they weren’t affirming, and it can get exhausting,” says Selenna.
She goes on to say that when she told the leadership at her past church that her and her fiance — who happens to be a trans-man — were getting engaged, they basically thanked her for going to them in private instead of telling the whole congregation.
Selenna was justifiably disappointed with the reaction she had recieved.
“It just felt like they were wanting to support us in kind of a quiet-don’t-let-the-whole congregation-know kind of way […] and that really turned us off,” says Selenna.
She says Hope Mennonite has been a great experience for her. “I’ve been welcomed with open arms, I’ve become a member, I’m involved in leadership which is really exciting […] I feel like me and my fiance are both loved and cared for at Hope.”
Hope Mennonite talks a lot about social justice issues: “our faith is something that is lived out, and we believe in the teachings of Jesus and how he — not just preached — but how he lived,” says Selenna.
It isn’t uncommon for the 2SLGBTQ+ community to be mentioned in worship or services. Like the congregation for example, lots of them have their pronouns in their Zoom names and use they/them pronouns for God.
Selenna describes the church as curious — they always want to learn more. She says the church recognizes that they don’t have all the answers, and they’re not afraid to reach out to people of different religions or backgrounds to help them strengthen their worldview.
They’re also very community-based, and before COVID-19, the church would walk in the pride parade together.
If you plan to attend Hope Mennonite, reach out through the email or phone number on the church website.
An Affirming Church in Progress: St. Matthew’s Anglican Church
There are many churches like St. Matthew’s Anglican Church. These are churches that believe in the affirmation of 2SLGBTQ+ people, but still have members of the congregation who struggle to understand certain concepts.
St. Matthews Anglican Church’s Statement:
“We are a church family, held together by a common Spirit and a common commitment. We help support one another, and we continue to be a people who pray, grow, and love. We seek to be an expressive, relational church even when we’re not together.”
Anglican beliefs try to balance scripture and tradition. The denomination acknowledges the Bible as the foundation for their faith. Anglican beliefs, practices, and rituals are mostly found in the Book of Common Prayer.
Gwen McAllister, who’s been a priest at the church of about 40 people for five years, explained that some people in her congregation still struggle with gender pronouns. She explained that this isn’t out of disrespect, but forgetfulness.
Gwen says she’s a part of the Anglican faith because there is a lot of room for growth and conversation.
One of the things Gwen loves most about this church is the diversity — the diversity in beliefs, in politics, in age, in everything. “We might not all believe the same thing, but we believe in being together,” says Gwen.
The church is influenced on what faith is about by the teachings and ways of the Indigenous Anglican Church in Canada. In the past, their church has also had a lot of Indigenous leadership and events.
“One of the most beautiful things about our church is that it values community and authenticity and togetherness more than it values appearance,” says Gwen. “It’s a place where you get to be real. It’s not a place where you go and put on your best face and pretend you have it together — it’s family-like.”
Gwen likes to take a passage from the Bible, explain it, and then connect it to life today during her sermons. She connects her sermons to topics like politics, economics, and social issues quite often.
They have been an affirming church since around 2005. They put up a rainbow fish and a medicine wheel on their sign outside. The fish is a symbol of the church, and the rainbow fish is a symbol of the acceptance of the 2SLGBTQ+ community in the church. The medicine wheel is a First Nations symbol that has many different meanings, one of these meanings is peace between all living beings.
They talk about the 2SLGBTQ+ community specifically on two Sundays a year: Pride Sunday and Diversity Sunday.
If you plan to attend St. Matthew’s, reach out through the email or phone number on the church website.
How to Check if a Church is Affirming
If you are looking for an affirming church, there are a few simple steps you can take before attending:
Check the church’s website — Many affirming churches have a statement of affirmation on their website, or a rainbow flag.
Look at the outside of the church — Some churches don’t update their websites, but they do update their signs outside. Sometimes they will have an affirming statement on their sign or there will be a 2SLGBTQ+ symbol somewhere on the sign. They might also have a rainbow flag flying.
Read reviews on Google or other websites — Many people leave reviews on churches just like they would for stores or restaurants. If you see a lot of reviews mentioning inclusivity and diversity, it is most likely affirming.
Email the church — When unsure of the church’s stance, it is usually just best to reach out and ask. The church should have a phone number or email on their website. All you have to do is send a quick message asking for their stance on the 2SLGBTQ+ community.
A Message for Queer Christians
I am truly thankful to be able to share some affirming congregations with you. My hope is that members of the 2SLGBTQ+ community who are struggling to find an accepting faith community will feel less alone.
My journey as a queer Christian has been difficult. There are still people who reject me. I have family members that I can not come out to, but I am thankful for all of the wonderful people I was able to talk to in the process of finding these affirming churches.
If you are currently unable to attend an affirming church, I highly suggest reaching out to these churches anyway. Even just having a ten-minute conversation over the phone with an affirming pastor can help heal wounds and answer questions you may have about sexuality and faith.
In high school, I struggled a lot with my faith, and I felt extreme guilt for the romantic feelings I had. I wasn’t always an affirming Christian, even when I realized I was bisexual. It took me some time to come to the conclusion that God didn’t view my sexuality as sinful, only the people around me did.
Resources
Please see the Rainbow Resource Center if you are interested in becoming a part of accepting communities of all kinds.
The Rainbow Directory is helpful for finding 2SLGBTQ+ affirming businesses, counsellors, organizations and more. It also helped me find out which churches were affirming!
A List of Affirming Churches
The Rainbow Directory has put together a list of affirming churches that you can check out:
Affirming Ministries of the United Church of Canada:
Augustine United Church http://augustineunitedchurch.org/
Churchill Park United Church https://www.churchillparkunited.ca/
St. Andrew’s River Heights United Church http://standrewsriverheights.com/
St. Mary’s Road United Church http://stmarysroad.ca/
The United Church in Meadowood https://ucim.org/
Young United Church http://www.youngunitedchurch.com/
Other Congregations:
Bethel Mennonite Church https://www.bethelmennonite.ca/
First Mennonite Church of Winnipeg https://firstmennonitechurch.ca/